Birth: How To Have An Empowering Experience

Giving birth is, at its core, one of the most empowering things you can do as a womb-owner. Lots of people who have been through the experience report a pervading sense that they can “handle anything” after doing so. In fact, new research by Absolute Collagen looked into what makes the average woman feel strong and found that 38% of women said childbirth made them feel like their most empowered selves.

However, there is also, understandably, widespread anxiety and fear around the process of giving birth, especially for those expecting their first child who are unsure what to expect and are surrounded by fear mongering.

It's an area that feels largely shrouded in mystery until you become pregnant and even then, with so many variables, it can be hard to really get a handle on how you might feel even as your birth date approaches. 

“It’s quite normal for people to be anxious and scared about childbirth I mean, no wonder we spent most of our lives believing, that childbirth is a really scary thing to go through as we are told scary stories,” Emma Armstrong, aka The Naked Doula, an award-winning Birth Influencer, Qualified Hypnobirthing Coach and Educator, tells GLAMOUR UK. 

“Our brains have been programmed with all this negativity,” she adds, but she's a firm believer that the reality is very rarely reminiscent of the nerve-wracking scenes we are subjected to in fiction. With some work around changing your mindset and preparation for a confident, powerful experience, having an empowering birth is possible. 

So, we think it's time to reprogram our birth beliefs - with the help of the wonderful Emma - though before we do, it's important to acknowledge that it is no failure if you feel you have not had an empowering birth experience before, or if you don't in the future. We are all doing the best we can. 

How to have an empowering birth 

We are pushing our baby out completely wrong

“Most of the time we see women giving birth on their back with their legs wide open however this is not the best way to give birth. What the medical professionals fail to realise is this goes against biomechanics of the pelvis which means laying on your back and open your legs wide makes the space in the pelvic outlet smaller which gives the baby less room. When in fact, the best way to birth to your baby is to bring the knees in and the calves out this helps to open up the pelvic outlet making more space for the baby to descend leading to less intervention, less chances of tearing and an easier pushing stage of labour.”

Start on learning and re-learning

“This is where you want to spend your time, really learning about your body and birth, and what is actually happening when you’re having contractions. And I’m not talking about necessarily from your Midwife, actually from online sources which are evidence-based.”

Take the time to protect your energy

“How you feel about birth during your pregnancy can really have an impact on how your birth turns out. So, mute, delete and remove any negativity on your social feeds whether that be friends or family accounts and just things that don’t make you feel good and start filling it up with really happy go-to and positive messages which are going to help you feel good and confident about your impending birth. Read all the best birth stories, watch the videos, and immerse yourself in the world of birth.”

Learn the techniques

"A hypnobirthing course is great for this. There are so many techniques out there from breathing and to using the comb on acupressure points in labour, however, you have to find techniques that work well for you. Once we understand what we can do and what we can utilise during our labour, we feel confident about what we’re doing and how to manage what it feels like there is.

"Everyone is so focused on contractions, but in fact there are easier ways to manage your contractions other than just breathing. A lot of people don’t realise that your jaw and your face are connected to your pelvis, pelvic floor and vagina area which means if we are tensing whilst we are having our contractions it is going to hurt. If however we relax our jaw and relax our face then in turn you’re going to allow your uterus which is a group of muscles to work efficiently your pelvic floor is going to be relaxed. And your dilation is going to be a lot quicker and smoother.

“So based on an average eight hour first stage of labour only 23% of your time is having contractions that means that 77% of the time you can just completely relax. Most Find the peak of the contraction the one that’s the real Nitty-gritty part but actually this only equates to 7.7% of your labour. And guess what the peak of the contraction only ever lasts 10 to 20 seconds. Think of it as a wave: it rises up, it gets to the top and then it comes back down again.”

Be informed, knowledge is power

“This is so important, just like anything that we are preparing for in our lives. Whether that be the most important interview for a dream job or jumping out of a plane, we need to do the preparation. As I say, knowledge is power once we understand our options and choices, we can then make informed decisions which are best for us and they will always be the right decisions. It’s so easy to get so impatient and want to meet our baby before we even hit 40 weeks. The thing is what people don’t realise is due dates are actually extremely inaccurate, so we find ourselves waiting and then having to wait even longer.”

Learn about oxytocin

"Oxytocin is the key to birth. If you know, understand and can work with your oxytocin levels during your labour you are onto a winner. Oxytocin is the hormone that drives your labour, when we understand it and we can understand how to influence it, then can we truly influence our birth experience and create a positive experience however that may look.

"Using a straw in labour can really help to release any tension and make your whole experience a lot better, so we want to make sure our lips of pursed because this helps to relax to the jaw which means a loose pelvic floor which means a loose vagina which means loose perineum which equals smoother contractions and a reduced chance of tearing.

“Using a comb in labour is one of my favourites, this is related to acupressure and acupressure points. When you’re holding the comb it can help to blocks pain signals during labour as your brain concentrates on or the sensations as part of the gate control theory. Hold the comb with the teeth pointed just below where your fingers meet your palm.”

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